Everyone changes. You learn, you develop, and you experience
new things. Everything you come upon has
some sort of effect on you. That’s just
how life works. For the most part, these
changes happen subtly over the course of a few years and dawdling enough that
you barely even notice.
However, in 2016, I’ve changed
the most -- so significantly to the point that I sometimes feel downright
unrecognizable. This past year tested my
limits, made me fly and sent me crashing to the ground. I cried more, laughed
more and spent a lot of my days in misconception.
My heart got broken. I lost the
support of family and friends. Also, I learned that sometimes those “that’ll
never happen to me” circumstances, may in reality happen to you. As well, I gained incredible friends, who
have taught and inspired me more than I could have conceivably imagined. They
make sure I don’t take life too seriously, but drive me to stay focused every
day. They are there for every laugh and every cry.
I had to figure out how to let
people in while also sewing up my wounds on my own. It wasn’t easy and I spent
time questioning every move I made. Nonetheless, I can’t and I don’t regret a
thing. I’ve learned too much and experienced
too many vital things to look back and say “I truly wish I could take that
back.”
Am I proud of all my judgments?
I am certainly not. Did I do things I probably shouldn’t have? Yes, but that’s
what helped me mature, and it was all worth it.
Who I am now isn’t afraid to make mistakes as long as I learn from them.
I thought I was strong before, but I’m even stronger now. I know how to listen
to my heart without entirely ignoring my mind.
I’ve learned how to let things go that I can’t control and not bottle up
all of my emotions.
With every loss, I've gained something new. I’m still young and I haven’t figured it all out just yet. I’m still going to make senseless mistakes, and life is still going to test my boundaries. I’m on a journey to be the best version of myself possible, whoever that may be. Only God knows my future and only time will reveal it to me.
~ J. Lynn
