Boundaries are an essential part of any healthy
relationship—whether with your boss, significant other, children, or hairdresser!
You probably don’t want your boss asking you for dating
advice, your significant other to leave for a trip without telling you, your
children to go somewhere after school without permission or your hairdresser to
do whatever to your hair!
Boundaries help safeguard none of these situations happen!
They help guarantee a relationship is one of respect, support, and care.
Phases to Creating Effective
Boundaries:
1. Boundaries need an “if-then” statement.
2. A boundary is not a boundary without an enforceable
consequence.
3. Boundaries give others liberty to own the choices they make.
4. Boundaries are for health, safety, to reward and reprimand.
5. Boundaries need transparency.
6. Boundaries often need to be recurring.
7. Boundaries need to be communicated calmly. (State your
boundary as a matter of fact rather than a matter of emotion. Boundaries are
more challenging to receive when conveyed emotionally.)
8. Boundaries need to be important to all involved parties.
Key Note: Healthy
boundaries are a way to express love. Unhealthy boundaries are a way to employ and misuse power. There is a big difference.
Feel free to share an example of a healthy boundary that
works well for you!!!
~ J. Lynn
