Life presents us with a lot of difficult choices and we are the choices we make.
So what happens when the person that you want to spend the rest of your life with wants completely different things out of it than you do? Well, you have to make a choice .... to stay with the one you love or live the lifestyle you desire. Most people would probably say to pick the person you want to be with, because love conquers all. On the contrary, I believe faith conquers all.
At the end of '07, I fell in love with someone at first sight. I spent years (more than a decade to be exact) going back and forth with this person because of our differences. Our morals and values just didn't match up. Our priorities in life were extremely opposite. No matter how different we were, I still loved this person with every piece of my soul. Matter of fact, I still do.
In the spring of 2016, I got pregnant. When I found out I was bringing a baby into this world, my priorities changed even more. I was going to make sure that my lifestyle was not only the lifestyle I wanted, but one that was suitable for my son. I made a decision to choose us (my son & I) over the person I loved. If I were to have chosen the person I loved over the life that I wanted, my self-worth would slowly diminish and weaken over time.
Listen here, being in love is an amazing and wonderful thing! However, there should never be a toss-up between the person you love and the life that you want. Love shouldn’t have to be the largest compromise of your life. Some may say that love is about making sacrifices and you can’t have it all your way. This is true to a point. But you should be able to have what matters to you at the same time.
You should be able to be with somebody you love and also live a life that rejuvenates and inspires you. You should be able to seek what you want out of this world without the risk of losing the person you value most. You should be able to express how you feel without fear and be able to grow together while experiencing new things that interest you both.
To this day, I wake up every morning thinking about the person I walked away from. This person is also my last thought each evening when I lay down. You can love someone and not be with them. You can hold someone in your heart forever. Sometimes loving someone from a distance is what is best. Some days, I pray that our lifestyles will match up eventually. You cannot force someone to change their ways. You can't make someone get on the same page as you. So, what you need to do is choose YOURSELF before THE ONE YOU LOVE. Love yourself most! Don't sign yourself up for a lifetime of difficult choices.
I chose to live the life I want. I chose to put my desires first. Cutting the tie between this person and myself was the hardest decision of my life. In life, we must do hard things. We don't grow until we make the choices that are hardest to make. I am pursuing the life I have dreamed about. I have zero regrets.
~ J. Lynn
